All I can say for this week is, Bah. I think there were some very big lessons to be learned, and I'm still working through them. But as far as the week went work wise...absolutely everything fell out. Everything. We didn't have the chance to teach one sit down lesson. Not with members or investigators! 8 termine (appointments)! It was crazy. Yes, it does get me down, but at the same time, it's not the first time that appointments have fallen out, nor will it be the last. I think the Lord was trying to teach me/us something very special.
The thing is I feel like I've never wanted something so bad as this TaufTermin (Baptism Date) by the end of the month. We have been working really hard to find and teach the elect. We are getting contacts and setting up appointments, but they just aren't there or they call before hand and say that they are no longer interested or that they can't meet with us for one reason or another (in the case of the lady who said God is her best friend, her husband is against churches and doesn't believe in Christ). It's frustrating, but I know that we have to be majorly blessed soon. Or at least I hope.
I'm trying to learn about blessings. I think this is the lesson to be learned. That and tender mercies. It seems to be that when we least deserve blessings they come and when we work hard for them, there seems to be a lack of them. It all comes in the Lord's time. Now this may all be due to our limited and imperfect perspective, but I also think it may be a wake up call of sorts. For example, some days are more productive than others. Some days we are trying our hardest to find someone who will listen, but it just doesn't work. No contacts, no lessons, nothing. But then there are other days when we ride a bus or a bahn somewhere, whether it be a members house or just to go by on a former investigator or something, and are doing nothing but sitting there, when a new contact is found. I think in those instances the Lord is saying, "Hey! There are people everywhere! Stop day-dreaming and do something productive!"
But I don't know. The scripture says, "for there is a law irrevocably decreed in heaven on which all blessings are predicated". According to this, my thought process says that being on the street talking to as many as possible would produce more results as just catching a ride somewhere. But maybe the law is broader than I imagined. I don't know. I wish I did. I think that once we realize how it is we receive the blessing we need, we then realize what we have to do in order to earn them. But the other side of this is tender mercies. Angenommen, all that the Lord gives us as missionaries can be considered a tender mercy. But sometimes it's just hard and we are so down and depressed and in the pit of sorrow and no longer want to fight our way out. Just in that very moment, a contact is found, or a lesson is taught, or something of significance happens that again lifts us. As I once heard said, "Faith isn't faith until you have nothing left to give". Maybe our faith is stronger than we ever thought imaginable. Maybe there is a spark deep down within us that we don't even realize. And maybe it's that spark that allows the Lord to ignite new hope. When we have nothing else to give, that small spark is more visible in contrast to the darkness. It's like a coal that's removed from a hot fire. At mid-day or high-noon the coal appears normal or white, one cannot see the glowing heat that is hidden beneath the layer of charred ash. However, in comparison, during the dense darkness of the midnight hours, the coal glows red despite all that covers it, the light of day is past and the coal is free to glow against the darkness. Sometimes our faith is more visible because of the darkness that surrounds us, so are the guiding lights, a.k.a. blessings. During the day, (when everything is going great) it may be hard to discern the lights that truly lift us, even though they are still there.
But I'm still trying to work through it...I really just don't know the answer. There are so many different variables and so many different ways of looking at it. I mean one way is that the Lord is so anxious to bless us that when we keep even the smallest part of the law we are blessed, but at the same time, it seems that when we are trying our hardest, nothing comes. But I also think it has something to do with balance. If we look at the Gospel of Christ, that is exactly what is always taught. There is a season for everything. We are to be physically fit, but not put our trust in the arm of the flesh. We are to care for our fellow man, but only after everything in our own house is in order. It's all about balances and finding the true balance is the key to happiness. The one thing to keep in mind is that the only way to true happiness is through the Lord Jesus Christ. He showed the way. We are to follow.
I dunno this week was rough. There is no other way to put it.
Dad, interesting proposal with the 12 Nephite Apostles and whether or not they were more or less important than those in Jerusalem. I personally think the answer is obvious. Christ also said that he was to visit other peoples and nations, and knowing that Christ hasn't changed, doesn't change, nor will ever change, I imagine that he did the same as he did on the two continents from which we have records. Why? Because they didn't have satellites that could transmit the words of one Prophet across the world to every nation. We know that new scripture will be revealed before the coming of Christ. It wouldn't surprise me if it was during the time of the BoM or Bible. It doesn't mean that whoever wrote it wasn't a prophet. They just had no way of communicating with the other Prophets at the time. But that's only my opinion. I've been known before to be wrong. It could be that I am again here.
Mother dearest, no I haven't received any parcels or packages or letters. Sorry. Did you send them to my apartment or to the mission office? If it is mission office, I remind you I will only receive them every 6 weeks, if the couples who work in there do not forget. They are, however, prone to do just that.
Also, I don't know if sending me new jeans would be the best idea, cause I know how much jeans cost. Maybe if its an old pair then ok. But I also have to think about room to put things..Which brings me to the jacket. The old one just did not keep me warm. It's annoying. Rule number one to buying things for the cold: Don't do it in Arizona. Yes, I want jeans and a jacket, but at the same time I dunno. What color is the jacket? Brown and lime green right? Hm.. I want to say yes, but I don't know. You and Dad talk it over and decide. I love E. Turvey too. Transfers are November 14th or something like that. I don't know for sure.
1. The Council photo shoot.
2. Me studying and waiting for a train.
I'll send more in another email, cause otherwise it'll be too big.
I don't have much more to say. The week was hard. Next week is Zone Conference and should be good.
I love and miss you both.